Contrast is an interesting thing. Many people, when asked to share their primary goal in life, would likely say that it is to be happy. However, I think this is an oversimplified articulation of the truth. The truth is that you cannot appreciate happiness without sadness. So, perhaps a better way to state this goal is to say that we want to have a life of feeling. Of course no one really wants to experience sadness, loss, anger, frustration…but without them, how would you distinguish joy?
This fantasy of perpetual happiness is just that, fantasy. It is no more possible than it is interesting, and it wouldn’t be very interesting. It is contrast that makes real life, real. Our experiences, in all their great variance, add depth to our character and give our lives the richness of feeling. For me, this is the ultimate goal. I want to be happy, of course. But more than that, I want to be able to appreciate my own happiness.
Back when I was pregnant with Clara, I signed up for an expectant mother’s mailing list. Coupons, samples and the like. Unfortunately, there is no way to un-sign up. You get where this is going… Tonight, we came home from holiday festivities to a package on the porch. After so many days of joy and delight, family and fun, we arrived home to a reminder of the little girl who is not coming home.
I will donate these samples to someone who will make use of them, along with any other samples and coupons we receive. And I will remember that even the saddest reminders provide the contrast to make joy shine.