I’ll be back later with today’s December Reflections post, but I HAD to swing by to share something special with you!

Back in August, I had the wonderful opportunity to speak at Failure:Lab Chicago. The night was a journey in storytelling, using the real life experiences of 5 people as a means to de-stigmatize failure, encouraging people to embrace their failures, and to learn from them. I am so honored to have been included and I am still fan-girling over Failure:Lab’s unique format and super cool mission! Check out my story and give Failure:Lab some love, they are doing incredible things!

2 thoughts on “Failure:Lab

  1. Jenny says:

    Me, again, still working my way through your archive!

    Two things I got from this. One, if 18 months ago I had heard someone say, “I was afraid of concrete because I could picture dropping my baby on it” it might have saved me a whole lot of pain. When you think you’re literally the only person in the world having irrational thoughts like that, it’s impossible to get help because how on earth do you explain it? It sounds crazy. No one wants to sound crazy.

    Two, we absolutely are doing a shitty job of creating a environment where it’s okay to struggle with parenthood. I quickly stopped sharing even my minor struggles because they were met with either, “Don’t worry, it gets better” or “Just wait, it gets worse.” Which are not only unhelpful, but invalidating.

    Liked by 1 person

    • robokel says:

      Hi Jenny!

      Oh my gosh, YES to your comment about saving you a lot of pain if you’d only known you weren’t the only one. When I took the questionnaire online to determine whether or not it was likely that I had PPA, one of the books that it suggested to me for a resource was called “But what if I drop the baby?” I burst into tears upon reading the title. To know that I was not alone in having this irrational fear was both comforting and frustrating. It is that feeling which inspired me to become noisy about my experiences first with PPA and second, with grief and loss. You are so right, no one wants to sound crazy, so it’s important for those of us who have been there to be honest about our experiences. This creates an environment where new mothers can understand that they aren’t crazy!

      To your second point, I just want to say that I am so sorry that your vulnerability was met with such invalidating commentary. I see you. *hug* It sounds like you have come a long way since then and I hope that you are finding more comfort, security and peace in your journey. Thanks for being brave enough to push forward, and to share now. Your honesty definitely helps other mothers as we work to create this expectation shift.


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