Yesterday, I watched a clip on TV about a guy from Nowhere, USA who got himself a makeover, went to NYC, hired a couple of security guards and a camera crew and walked around Times Square. Seeing him, surrounded by beefy guys in suits and trailed by an eager camera crew, pedestrians began to ask to have their photo taken with this random man. They even cheered as he came out of shops, restaurants. Girls squealing, as though the shadow of their Teen Beat-centerfold-dream-crush was passing over their teary eyed faces. When, in truth, they had never seen his face before. They did not even know his name. When interviewed by his sham camera crew, people proclaimed that they loved his work, had his debut albums, watched all his movies, etc. While some of them may have genuinely mistaken him for an actual celebrity, the large majority of these people were just flat out lying. They simply fell into line.
It occurred to me that I am so much like this guy, when it comes to parenting. Fake it til you make it. If I have ever given off the impression that I have any idea what I am doing when it comes to parenting, I apologize. I really have no idea what I am doing. What I do have, is an image. I have an image of the type of people that I would like my children to become. The image is kind of like a watercolor, with edges that are blurred and fuzzy. The colors blend together in places. I like to think of this lack of rigidity as flexibility in my expectations. There is wiggle room in there. My end game is not precise, but I know the general direction.
The way that I parent though, is like our pseudo-celebrity. I am a pseudo-parent. I think one of the keys to parenting effectively is to seem like you know what you’re doing. Your children have to buy it, even if you are straight up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Every parenting decision that I make is made in love for them. It is made with their best interests at heart. Does that mean it is always “right”? Hell if I know.
Fake it til you make it.
This doesn’t mean that my kids don’t see my failure, or that they are not taught that it is okay to be uncertain or wrong. We embrace imperfection, but sometimes parenting requires confidence, and it’s often when you don’t have it. Sometimes they need me to be strong when I am not. So, I will do my best to parent with confidence, and hold onto hope that someday I actually do have it all figured out.
Hopefully before they are old enough to read my blog.